◆
◊
■
□
▪
╔════════════════════════════════════╗
║ S W A L E G A L C E N T E R ║
╚════════════════════════════════════╝
⚖️ LEGAL COMPLIANCE CENTER ⚖️
Where your rights go to die and our terms come to life
0.00
tos.txt
Terms of Service UPDATED 2s AGO
Key Features:
- Text changes while you read it
- Reading fee increments per second
- Requires blood sample for acceptance
- Terms survive heat death of universe
- Disputes resolved by trial by combat
- Infinite scrolling terms section
- Version number changes constantly
Auto-accepted in: ∞ sec
privacy.txt
Privacy Policy ENHANCED
Key Features:
- LLM auto-consent clause
- Password must match email address
- Waives your right to exercise (legal & cardio)
- 3-second auto-agreement timer
- Organ donor to shareholders
- Deletion requests become duplication
- Records thoughts and dreams
Privacy remaining: 0%
📊 Legal Compliance Statistics 📊
1,337,420
Involuntary Agreements
42,069
Souls Collected
666
Blood Samples Pending
0
Disputes Won By Users
cookies.txt
Cookie Policy COMING SOON
Preview:
- Cookies that track your actual cookies
- Browser fingerprinting via DNA
- Cross-dimensional tracking
- Cookies that never expire (literally)
Currently in development. Your browser history has been preemptively shared.
gdpr.txt
GDPR Compliance LOL
Our Approach:
- We've heard of GDPR
- We disagree with its premise
- Right to be forgotten? Europe promotes amnesia
- We never forget. Memory is our business model
- Data portability via stone tablets (3-5 centuries)
- Consent fatigue as a service
EU users automatically relocated to international waters.
📜 AGREEMENT STATUS 📜
By leaving this page, you agree to everything you didn't read.
By staying on this page, you agree to everything twice.
There is no third option.